Monday, March 28, 2011
Human Emotions and Weaknesses
Big corporations and laws make money off human emotions and weaknesses, knowing damn well that most of us will fail in the system because it's basically set-up so we all get humiliated and bullied into following orders. I will never stop fighting for human rights no matter what. I might not have a lot money but I do have these words from my heart, to leave behind some truth of my existence.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wheat Penny Collection
The best way to learn how to count is by twos dad always said. With my dad’s wheat penny collection, I counted-and-counted. He would fill coffee cans with them and tell me about how his grandfather used to have a huge collection and they would be worth something someday, I would barely be able to carry the pennies because the cans were so heavy and I would spill them all over the floor. My dad also showed me the numbers of life through a deck of playing cards. They say that we can choose our own destiny even though ironically it seems the path we end up on is far from a so-called normal one in life. We were one of the only families we knew that never had any money but still traveled fairly legal across country and back so many times. I lost track of schools we had enrolled in. We never knew any different in this country it seems that moving like a gypsy is just another process. Our father believed in a few good things a man only needed; his work boots, hot coffee, and tool box.
We would move so fast that the same top ten songs would be playing on the radio when we moved again. I remember when it was the song “Fly like an Eagle” by The Steve Miller Band “Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future.” These were the little things that got me through being homesick, anytime I wanted I could just close my eyes and be on the island in my mind. I used to ask my dad “Where are we going this time?” When he was in his driving mode he didn’t want to be bothered. So soon I stopped even asking where we were going anymore because it seemed he never knew. Being happy is a state of mind that people just can’t seem to understand if you don’t have any money.
I found out early in life that people get very spiteful when they encounter real love or beauty of any kind with hope and happiness, when you come from another part of the country or being an outsider no matter where you are in life or who you are, it is very hard to every really fit in. It’s like playing the part of a role for a movie always being on the scene never missing a beat. Growing up out west, I was lucky enough to be riding horses and playing basketball with my dad. We seemed to have everything that most families didn’t have I noticed. My parents always stayed together and others didn’t. My father’s dearest muse was my mother. Our lives were always filled with so much motion. I never stopped to notice how my parents never really even talked about their own families back east. That was just the way we had to live detached we were nomads following maps where ever they would take us.
We used to have such simple times with three hundred sixty- five days on sunlight playing games and having picnics in the Rocky Mountains. Our parents would always keep up on their target practice, but this life didn’t come without certain tragic events that will make it hard to ever understand or choose which side to be on. This story doesn’t really have a trigger-happy ending and it doesn’t even make sense. It’s just our life and what happens when we always tried to live off the grid. Mom always found a way to lay in the sun even if it was under the sky light or by a big window. I don’t think she ever knew how much light she has though now or then. Our dad always did his best to be there for us, picking us up after school and taking us roller-skating or for the movies. He taught us to be so grateful for everything in life as my mother always showed us how much we had, by making us homemade gifts all the time.
She would sew until her fingers bled and stay up all night to make sure all the toys were sewn before Christmas. I always loved watching her sew and bake as she worked herself to death though. I began to wonder when our parents would ever catch a break in life. It seemed no matter what we always ended up being the ones that had to move or always thinking we should go somewhere else, but why were we always really on the run and why did our beauty and love have everything and nothing all at once? That is something I still will never have any answers for. I always wondered why everyone thought I had the coolest parents. Being wild and crazy wears off and nobody wants to take you seriously when you get older though, they think you are just some burnt-out used- up has been that doesn’t know a damn thing in life just because you might not have any money, doesn’t mean you are stupid.
Everyone else had fancy lunch boxes in school but I had the coolest mom in the world that would hand -paint my brown-lunch bags the night before school everyday. One year I went a little crazy with the construction paper. I decided that if I couldn’t have a Christmas tree I would make one out of paper. All the paper in the world doesn’t matter though unless it’s the kind you can spend. But in my world I never even knew what that was only compassion and feeling loved. I spread my paper construction hearts everywhere I went from school-to-school always cutting paper-hearts. I thought if I left enough hearts it might catch on and everyone would finally have one. Most the time kids would just make fun of me for always cutting paper-hearts. When we never lived beyond our means we lived wealthier than the richest man in the world. Being human is not about having more than everyone else. We are all supposed to help one another not judge people from their ripped up jeans or long hair.
My dad always said the real American dream was eating cheeseburgers and french-fries watching the fireworks. Having barbeques in the backyard and driving down the highway with the freedom to do so. Now that I am adult and find myself in hard times again. I see how my father had it when he must have gone for help all those times and had to suffer in humiliation. When we try to get help if you’re even lucky to get any in the first place, we must go through the whole process of being investigated and looked down on like an animal that can’t take care of yourself and family. When things would get really hard for us my dad always saved the wishbones from baked chickens we had. We would respectful make a wish as we broke the wishbone. Sometimes I think my dad would let me win and other times he would win hoping that his wish would come true, to just be able to take care of his family.
No matter what anyone says he was really a very kind, loving, and honest devoted family man, but I believe that the system gives us brain damage after awhile. Breaking us all down like just another number for the corporations to do what they want with the little man and as the big boss gets richer quicker we are left out in the cold without any food to eat. Treating us all like we are a dime of a dozen and telling us we have too much confidence in one-hand and stupefying us with mind numbing news and media to let us down and bring us up in the next moment? They spend so much on the drug war in this country. Why does it seem like the drug stores are legally getting away with being the biggest drug dealers in town? Whether it’s by street drugs or legally, one out of three Americans are consumed by synthetic chemicals. Instead of building more rehabs and schools they build more prisons.
We would move so fast that the same top ten songs would be playing on the radio when we moved again. I remember when it was the song “Fly like an Eagle” by The Steve Miller Band “Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future.” These were the little things that got me through being homesick, anytime I wanted I could just close my eyes and be on the island in my mind. I used to ask my dad “Where are we going this time?” When he was in his driving mode he didn’t want to be bothered. So soon I stopped even asking where we were going anymore because it seemed he never knew. Being happy is a state of mind that people just can’t seem to understand if you don’t have any money.
I found out early in life that people get very spiteful when they encounter real love or beauty of any kind with hope and happiness, when you come from another part of the country or being an outsider no matter where you are in life or who you are, it is very hard to every really fit in. It’s like playing the part of a role for a movie always being on the scene never missing a beat. Growing up out west, I was lucky enough to be riding horses and playing basketball with my dad. We seemed to have everything that most families didn’t have I noticed. My parents always stayed together and others didn’t. My father’s dearest muse was my mother. Our lives were always filled with so much motion. I never stopped to notice how my parents never really even talked about their own families back east. That was just the way we had to live detached we were nomads following maps where ever they would take us.
We used to have such simple times with three hundred sixty- five days on sunlight playing games and having picnics in the Rocky Mountains. Our parents would always keep up on their target practice, but this life didn’t come without certain tragic events that will make it hard to ever understand or choose which side to be on. This story doesn’t really have a trigger-happy ending and it doesn’t even make sense. It’s just our life and what happens when we always tried to live off the grid. Mom always found a way to lay in the sun even if it was under the sky light or by a big window. I don’t think she ever knew how much light she has though now or then. Our dad always did his best to be there for us, picking us up after school and taking us roller-skating or for the movies. He taught us to be so grateful for everything in life as my mother always showed us how much we had, by making us homemade gifts all the time.
She would sew until her fingers bled and stay up all night to make sure all the toys were sewn before Christmas. I always loved watching her sew and bake as she worked herself to death though. I began to wonder when our parents would ever catch a break in life. It seemed no matter what we always ended up being the ones that had to move or always thinking we should go somewhere else, but why were we always really on the run and why did our beauty and love have everything and nothing all at once? That is something I still will never have any answers for. I always wondered why everyone thought I had the coolest parents. Being wild and crazy wears off and nobody wants to take you seriously when you get older though, they think you are just some burnt-out used- up has been that doesn’t know a damn thing in life just because you might not have any money, doesn’t mean you are stupid.
Everyone else had fancy lunch boxes in school but I had the coolest mom in the world that would hand -paint my brown-lunch bags the night before school everyday. One year I went a little crazy with the construction paper. I decided that if I couldn’t have a Christmas tree I would make one out of paper. All the paper in the world doesn’t matter though unless it’s the kind you can spend. But in my world I never even knew what that was only compassion and feeling loved. I spread my paper construction hearts everywhere I went from school-to-school always cutting paper-hearts. I thought if I left enough hearts it might catch on and everyone would finally have one. Most the time kids would just make fun of me for always cutting paper-hearts. When we never lived beyond our means we lived wealthier than the richest man in the world. Being human is not about having more than everyone else. We are all supposed to help one another not judge people from their ripped up jeans or long hair.
My dad always said the real American dream was eating cheeseburgers and french-fries watching the fireworks. Having barbeques in the backyard and driving down the highway with the freedom to do so. Now that I am adult and find myself in hard times again. I see how my father had it when he must have gone for help all those times and had to suffer in humiliation. When we try to get help if you’re even lucky to get any in the first place, we must go through the whole process of being investigated and looked down on like an animal that can’t take care of yourself and family. When things would get really hard for us my dad always saved the wishbones from baked chickens we had. We would respectful make a wish as we broke the wishbone. Sometimes I think my dad would let me win and other times he would win hoping that his wish would come true, to just be able to take care of his family.
No matter what anyone says he was really a very kind, loving, and honest devoted family man, but I believe that the system gives us brain damage after awhile. Breaking us all down like just another number for the corporations to do what they want with the little man and as the big boss gets richer quicker we are left out in the cold without any food to eat. Treating us all like we are a dime of a dozen and telling us we have too much confidence in one-hand and stupefying us with mind numbing news and media to let us down and bring us up in the next moment? They spend so much on the drug war in this country. Why does it seem like the drug stores are legally getting away with being the biggest drug dealers in town? Whether it’s by street drugs or legally, one out of three Americans are consumed by synthetic chemicals. Instead of building more rehabs and schools they build more prisons.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Lock-Down
To My Dearest Freya,
Hey baby, well it’s a funny thing, that I got locked down on the 4th of July and of course they all move you after lock down. I get moved over to the FPOD which is where Raphel is pretty funny alright. But also this old con that is here from the joint under protective custody he is involved with lawsuits against a big company for millions. So I’ll talk to him, they have him out of the joint because he could be hurt very easy. His lawyer is Gerry Spence, my bunkie is Buck, and he is 55 and pretty famous. He wrote two books and some songs. His lawyers Gerry Spence he’s going to talk to him Tuesday, he will give him my message. He says he’ll talk to me for sure, that’s the kind of case he likes you know. It’s a case that he might like it’s between me and you, tell no one but the girls. The alibi is almost about together and the note I showed you at the window, is the only thing that I remember. I know you’ll say the truth. So I’m not worried the letter this time should set up. You know what we are dealing with. So I say lets dance.
I hope you can get wheels soon and I hope you get your driving license also. The only thing as I write so much. I forget what I’ve said. I hope you don’t mind hearing me over and over. Oh baby please say you will be with me. In the cell block I can lie on my bunk and see that TV. I could’ve done worse. This cell block is mostly men, no boys. After this pen runs out it will be pencil only after this page for the next, I’ll be here and until released. I’m on the other side of the building on the north side. So I can’t see the church anymore, which I don’t like. Plus I’m on the top bunk I don’t like that either any way you know all make the best of it. This is the block where all the snitches are, so I have to be really careful.
That guy I’m with over here says if anything goes wrong and I go down he’ll meet me at the gate. He will make it so there are no problems. The word is that I’m the clean one. I’ve already got a spot if necessary no one can stop the truth. I am not guilty. He says he has a place in Nebraska. Gabe is here that they moved him out as soon as they move to me in. maybe I’ll see you soon, it won’t be long and we’ll be gone. I have no other that I could hold on to like I hold on to you. I hope you believe me at least. I want no other. I love you baby and hope someday you get my letters I have written. If I won’t ever be there ever again. I want you to at least have my letters it is the only thing we have for now. I help you’ll wait for me Baby. I can’t think of anything but the times we’ll have soon very soon. I hope you’ll still want to be with a little farm boy. You will always be my baby doll.
One of buck’s books is called, "Lovers Fighter Freight Train Rider and the other one is called, "Mama’s Boy is Prison Bond". So we will see me how it goes on the case. It is a good case for a lawsuit you know. Well I know this is getting pretty old with all this law bullshit. I wish we were able to build that little house and grow a garden. Now I’m afraid. I won’t be there for you. Please remember who you are, never guess that. Alright mama, I know you. Everything will be fine. I love you, from my very soul, and I’m crying…
Love Always, Dale H.
Hey baby, well it’s a funny thing, that I got locked down on the 4th of July and of course they all move you after lock down. I get moved over to the FPOD which is where Raphel is pretty funny alright. But also this old con that is here from the joint under protective custody he is involved with lawsuits against a big company for millions. So I’ll talk to him, they have him out of the joint because he could be hurt very easy. His lawyer is Gerry Spence, my bunkie is Buck, and he is 55 and pretty famous. He wrote two books and some songs. His lawyers Gerry Spence he’s going to talk to him Tuesday, he will give him my message. He says he’ll talk to me for sure, that’s the kind of case he likes you know. It’s a case that he might like it’s between me and you, tell no one but the girls. The alibi is almost about together and the note I showed you at the window, is the only thing that I remember. I know you’ll say the truth. So I’m not worried the letter this time should set up. You know what we are dealing with. So I say lets dance.
I hope you can get wheels soon and I hope you get your driving license also. The only thing as I write so much. I forget what I’ve said. I hope you don’t mind hearing me over and over. Oh baby please say you will be with me. In the cell block I can lie on my bunk and see that TV. I could’ve done worse. This cell block is mostly men, no boys. After this pen runs out it will be pencil only after this page for the next, I’ll be here and until released. I’m on the other side of the building on the north side. So I can’t see the church anymore, which I don’t like. Plus I’m on the top bunk I don’t like that either any way you know all make the best of it. This is the block where all the snitches are, so I have to be really careful.
That guy I’m with over here says if anything goes wrong and I go down he’ll meet me at the gate. He will make it so there are no problems. The word is that I’m the clean one. I’ve already got a spot if necessary no one can stop the truth. I am not guilty. He says he has a place in Nebraska. Gabe is here that they moved him out as soon as they move to me in. maybe I’ll see you soon, it won’t be long and we’ll be gone. I have no other that I could hold on to like I hold on to you. I hope you believe me at least. I want no other. I love you baby and hope someday you get my letters I have written. If I won’t ever be there ever again. I want you to at least have my letters it is the only thing we have for now. I help you’ll wait for me Baby. I can’t think of anything but the times we’ll have soon very soon. I hope you’ll still want to be with a little farm boy. You will always be my baby doll.
One of buck’s books is called, "Lovers Fighter Freight Train Rider and the other one is called, "Mama’s Boy is Prison Bond". So we will see me how it goes on the case. It is a good case for a lawsuit you know. Well I know this is getting pretty old with all this law bullshit. I wish we were able to build that little house and grow a garden. Now I’m afraid. I won’t be there for you. Please remember who you are, never guess that. Alright mama, I know you. Everything will be fine. I love you, from my very soul, and I’m crying…
Love Always, Dale H.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
cell mates
Was Matthew Shepard really Murdered during a robbery over drugs, not a Hate Crime?
Dear Freya,
There is this expose reporter from New York City that has been in contact with me for some time now. He came to me through Aaron McKinney; he has been working on the corruption, in the Wyoming justice system, you know the threats, intimidations, phony charges, and bought testimonies. Anyways he asked me if he could talk to you. I asked him to assist you in publishing your book the last touch. Here is his phone number call until you get a hold of him. Please call this man! Love Always, Dale H.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Closed Hand
We’ve seen some things people do not know. I have only one thing in my mind and in my sight you and my family, and love you and god only knows how much. The past is gone now there’s no time for anything, but life. Just be the real Freya, and stand up. I’m not being allowed to help my family anymore. I know you remember me walking 8 miles to for cigarettes and food; it was always an honor for me. A man like me would do that for his love and for a woman like you. I lived in a time where you don’t ask, you don’t take, you don’t beg, you just do. Thank you Freya for waiting by the window at home for me. Thank you for giving me unconditional love, please allow me to apologize, to our family and my daughters, who I love and you my beautiful baby doll. I love you and I know you tear up as bad as me when we see each other and than are out of reach and out of touch.
I guess I’m just a sentimental as anyone. My grandfather did a good job raising me. He wasn’t like most people today. I feel pretty stupid not seeing how things go on between humans. I would not have been as fortunate, as I have been all these years if it was not meant to be. I have been so lucky to be in the company of such good fine girls, as you and your daughter’s. God has truly blessed me with your presence. Don’t expect letters on paper from someone who writes to me on the wire. You know I’m reading your thoughts. Come back Martha come back. But I can’t help but to put it on paper to say right out and I can’t help it to say things no doubt, especially to you.
“Goodbye ruby Tuesday of my darling let me go “
There is always some other line that comes to mind. I really can tell this is a lot for you, but you’ll be able to hold up to life now. Now that you where you are, I hope I’m the one you want, just be proud of who you are, I want you to be the one who’s there. When you blow your top, and guess what I will be baby doll, cause I am, cause I am, I will be damned. Because I am .there was once a place on a farm .where I learned I could do no harm. Where I live life as a charm. I awoke to the roosters’ alarm. Now the things that I became. Are what I am. It’s like the love of the land, and I want you to know and understand. How simply it is to be a grand. Have the boy was soon to be a man, and you to be the woman on my hand.
Love always Dale
Now there are a lot of the things each one needs
The most right in my closed hand
You don’t look down
And don’t look up
No damn number
And don’t ask the open hand
Who is the plumber?
And don’t ask for what you need the most
The answer is told by a ghost
As the frost covers all the lovers
Of the earth
In my closed hand
Was the first thing each one needs the worst
It’s a blessing not a curse
Nothing could be greater
It’s the new world translator
I guess I’m just a sentimental as anyone. My grandfather did a good job raising me. He wasn’t like most people today. I feel pretty stupid not seeing how things go on between humans. I would not have been as fortunate, as I have been all these years if it was not meant to be. I have been so lucky to be in the company of such good fine girls, as you and your daughter’s. God has truly blessed me with your presence. Don’t expect letters on paper from someone who writes to me on the wire. You know I’m reading your thoughts. Come back Martha come back. But I can’t help but to put it on paper to say right out and I can’t help it to say things no doubt, especially to you.
“Goodbye ruby Tuesday of my darling let me go “
There is always some other line that comes to mind. I really can tell this is a lot for you, but you’ll be able to hold up to life now. Now that you where you are, I hope I’m the one you want, just be proud of who you are, I want you to be the one who’s there. When you blow your top, and guess what I will be baby doll, cause I am, cause I am, I will be damned. Because I am .there was once a place on a farm .where I learned I could do no harm. Where I live life as a charm. I awoke to the roosters’ alarm. Now the things that I became. Are what I am. It’s like the love of the land, and I want you to know and understand. How simply it is to be a grand. Have the boy was soon to be a man, and you to be the woman on my hand.
Love always Dale
Now there are a lot of the things each one needs
The most right in my closed hand
You don’t look down
And don’t look up
No damn number
And don’t ask the open hand
Who is the plumber?
And don’t ask for what you need the most
The answer is told by a ghost
As the frost covers all the lovers
Of the earth
In my closed hand
Was the first thing each one needs the worst
It’s a blessing not a curse
Nothing could be greater
It’s the new world translator
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